I like other things too you know

First of all can i just ask .. does everybody else hate it when your parents ask you a question during an argument and when you answer back they yell , " don't talk back to me ".......but dude you ask me a question I'm mean i have been going to school for the past fifteen years learning to answer questions . have i wasted fifteen years?. while we are on the subject why can i never be right after all your the one who is always saying , " you think your right all the time well you know no one is right all the time ," wow parents i must say are kinda the biggest hypocrites around . one thing i know is that I'm never having children in my life i can't imagine raising someone like me i would probably loose it and begin to go to Scientology lessons. Anyway i'm getting to focused on something else today's topic is...i like to do other things too you know

As some of my friends know.. the ones that i can trust to laugh at me privately and not publicly, i like to write poetry . I have been doing it since a mastered the concept of angst, hopelessness and irony also known as life.i like doing it , its a way of hiding my deepest darkest dreams and fears without them crushing me from the inside which would ultimately turn me into emotional black hole. so what the topic in this . well the thing is I'm black . hm mm you still don't get it . Well you see its like this, black people never do anything that we are not stereotyped to do. Being Loud , check , doing the most ignorant think you can possibly do like putting spinning rims on you car and not even paying your rent of children's nappies , check . So as you can see life is very hard for black people who have other interest because no only society frown upon those who go against these set stereotypes but also black people who are mad that you are not acting 'black' anymore. for them you have broken the mould and have therefore have betrayed them in a Judas executed style and that is just understating the situation.This means that it is hard to be individualistic in a community that harbours a grudge on anyone trying to be different( as in any other community but this is case is extreme) so you have to conform into the 'black' mould that has been already set . it is depressing because this means that no one can be really reach their potential as they don't want to be outcast in a community they actually love and thrive in .Evidence of this can be found in densely populated black community where if a boy who has a passion for piano's instead of shanks will probably seen as a 'gaylord'. since i lived in hertfordshire since i arrived in England black people have questioned my accent because its not a typical urban London accent. .even white people are a bit surprised they expect me to talk like dis blood. Therefore my accent makes black people suspicious as it is not of the communial stereotype and i have a feeling it because they think I'm better than them which i don't of course.So what does this have to do with me and my poetry well, to be honest I'm frightened that my black community won't accept me for being the neo -soul hippy poetic sista that i am. just the same as they won't accept a black guy who just hangs out with white people because he is a traitor to the black people. i think this should stop because as long as black people conform to this stereotype we wont be finally free because at the moment we are still chained mentally since we won't break the mould. We won't explore the potential we could truly find in our self because were are to scared what the next black ignoramus is going to say.Although I'm saying all of this I'm scared of breaking the mould too but I'm going to try and solve that......to be continued

You went out wearing what?

Well I’m back but I don't know for how long you see I get distracted by other things oh so easily which is a bad thing cause it means my mind is fiddly lol which I have realised makes no sense whatsoever. So why the title? . I’m declaring a war, war on all men who find the need to wear skinny jeans. It is not a war on them personally but more like on their stupidity. You see men are stupid in fact the whole human race is stupid and no matter what new gadget or does it itself machine we invent we will always be dumb dumbs. However every now and then we come up with something that makes Neanderthals seem like rocket scientists. This time it is skinny jeans...on men. I could barely understand them on women but men...? I mean did you not want to reproduce anytime soon .I feel uncomfortable whenever I see a man wearing them I feel as if their balls are being squeezed to a perpetual death ever so slowly and are screaming out to me for help. I feel like pulling his jeans down so they can breathe the breath of life and freedom. It is also oh so highly unattractive because i always have the pleasure to see their hairy bum cracks. A reason why I gave up eating breakfast before going to my lectures, it wasn’t the bother trying to keep breakfast down whilst I looked at cousin ITs bum crack .This style is called the tight sag. I preferred it when the baggy sag was in you all looked like ignorant mother watch your mouth but at least you didn't look like pretentious idiots which makes the world uncomfortable. Also what do their girlfriends think about their boyfriends wearing their jeans, it must piss them off. I know if I spent my hard earned money at H&M or Topshop to buy those jeans I had been drooling at for month just for my boyfriend who recycles jeans every month to wear them out I would just die. I know it sounds drastic but I would and I would take that jean violator with me to that magical place in the sky. Apparently these tight sagging idiots are called hipsters and worship some band called the cool kids * rolls eyes* why oh why must I cry. Honestly it’s just a bunch of pretentious middle class kids who have taken the emo look a bit far and are in the course of annihilating the whole race with their ball crushing style. I apologise to any man who wears skinny jeans but I can no longer see you as a man but as a confused 17 year old emo whose jeans have shrunk in the wash.

options

One of the reasons why i haven't written in a while is because I'm lazy i warned you all so don't be all what what in the butt lol . Also i have about the misery that is defamation which officially depressed me and made me question why i haven't moved to America where Freedom of speech is just a smile away. So basically it crushed me because half of the thing okay everything that i right is legally illegal lol so what to write now that i no longer have the bliss og ignorance . i think I'm going to go into the direction of feature story since i have also recently accumulated this sill as well ( i have decided to try and at least attend some lectures) . Anyway this is my first feature bare with me it.......might be well a doozy

options .Life is full of Options. Which is why its so depressing . it's like the matrix do you take the red pill or the blue one . Do you get to walk down the road or skip merrily across it? Even stupid options like that affect your life forever its the butterfly effect. that's why options that you are aware will change your life are extra excruciating. this is because 10 years down the line you will know it is YOUR fault your sleeping under a bridge because you made the choice , the option. Its sick isn't it really disgusting that life can be like this ,can make you feel so guilty for making one decision . That is how i felt today as i sat in a lecture theatre choosing my options for next year which could either turn my life for the better of for the worst. i'm supposed to tick on a piece of paper weather i want to be a deadbeat in 5 years or a rich egotistical writer.hmmmm options options options , you see what i mean its so hard . i don't want to look back and think what if a had ticked the left side . would i be in St tropez sipping on cocktails with unpronounceable Spanish names , Versache on speed dial and everyone calling me Mrs Rockefeller for short (Anything can happen kids) . Anyway you see what i mean in life decisions are so hard because of the consequences .you can call me a consequensialist because i do believe that an action should be taken depending on the consequences. these big Decisions are what cuts the oxygen of life , suffocating any true freedom you may have had and finally killing the unpredictability of it. its sad isn't it . Now I'm off to ponder about the options i might cry, might argue with myself but eventually i will have to tick won of those boxes . Jesus help me